gender and sexuality

31st December 2010 10:45 PM

People are always so obsessed with being heterosexual, homosexual, or bisexual. Are these not just human inventions. I mean sure, you may prefer males, females, or both, but does it really matter? Does it really exist, or are sexual orientations just in our minds? For instance why should it matter what gender someone is, if you love each other, why does it matter? I mean sure, there's that whole thing where same-sex couples can't have kids, but other than that, is there any real reason to separate genders in terms of orientation? For instance, is it not possible for a straight woman to fall in love with another straight woman because she loves her personality?

31st December 2010 11:30 PM

For instance, let's say you're perfectly "straight" and you're not attracted to your own gender at all. Now let's say you meet a member of your own gender who is your everything. That person is everything you ever wanted and you fall in love with the person for who they are, but you still do not find members of your own gender to be "hot" or anything.

**Dark Lion** · 1st January 2011 03:27 AM

Yes and no. Yes, orientations are mostly an invention of society, meant to divide us into groups. Especially this generation, which seems to want everything to fit a certain label. On the other hand, sexual preferences are very real. For example I find the human body, male or female, to be quite unappealing. I cannot ever imagine having sex with a person. The reason I say this is because preferences are very real, if you aren't attracted believe me you aren't attracted, and it would take an extraordinary connection for someone to fall in love with someone outside their preference. I do believe it can happen though. (But not to me lol)

You are on an enlightened path here Destiny, I like to see you challenging labels and established mindsets. I believe each person is unique and subject to change, and I think the worst thing you can do is ascribe to some type of label. Unfortunately, this society loves to divide people into groups and once you say "I am....." you are defined.

**Rasselas** · 1st January 2011 09:17 AM

I think we have those labels because they are useful. They describe the vast majority of humans, and they are labels people are familiar with. There is, of course, a range of sexual responses, and many people are at least a little bisexual. There are asexual people too, I suppose, but they are quite rare. And there are bisexual people who wish very desperately to fit into one of the two other categories.

But I agree with Dark Lion that its highly unlikely that someone with one set of sexual preferences and attractions will deviate from them for one person. The exception to this is adolescents for whom sexuality and sociability are a little confused at first. There are plenty of adolescent males who find one special friend of their same gender very appealing, even sexually appealing, because of non-sexual characteristics of close friendship--but who go on to be entirely heterosexual as adults. When this happens, it appears to be because sexuality is new and felt very strongly, and feelings of close friendship are also very strong--lines are crossed. But this happens when people are quite young (within 5-10 years of puberty). It's much more rare among people after adolescence.

The whole concept of 'falling in love,' now that's a cultural construct.

**Dark Lion** · 1st January 2011 07:30 PM

I don't buy it, I think we are better off without labels. They constrict perception, they can make you close-minded towards not only the world around you, but to your inner-most self. For example, a straight person may miss out on a great experience with a person of the same sex if they think theyhave to be straight all the time. Is it not better to leave sexuality undefined, thereby allowing you to explore every avenue of your sexuality? I can't really explain it right now, let me wait until this new year's hangover is gone and I'll try to word it better.