Thread: Picking lemons

A woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed to be far too qualified for the job.



The foreman frowned and said, "I have to ask you this; have you had any actual experience in picking lemons?"



"Well, as a matter of fact, I have!" she replied.



"I've been divorced three times and I voted for Obama."

[quote name='justoneman' date='08 September 2009 - 10:53 PM' timestamp='1252464785' post='18786']

You know a joke is lame when you read it, and after it you imagine a drum roll a cymbal crash and a mans voice says: "Hey I can hear you breathing".







Well at least that is what was in my mind at the end of reading it.

[/quote]



Whats the difference between God and an JOM as a moderator?

God doesn't think hes a moderator.



How do you keep a moderator busy?

Look below.

How do you keep a moderator busy?

Look above.

JOM is so poor when he goes to the park the pigeons throw bread.

JOM is so poor he can't afford to pay attention.

JOM is so poor he goes to KFC to lick other peoples fingers.

JOM is so poor his face is on the front of a food stamp.

JOM is so poor when I saw him kicking a can down the street, I asked him what he was doing, he said "Moving."

JOM is so poor he went to McDonald's and put a milkshake on layaway.

JOM is so poor because he got fired from his last job at the M&M factory for throwing away all the W's.

JOM is so poor he had to take a second mortgage on his cardboard box







JOM decides to have a party where his guests are asked to come dressed as different emotions e.g. anger, fear etc. On the night of the party, the first guest arrives and JOM opens the door to see Davo covered in green paint with the letters N and V painted on his chest. He says to Davo, "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" and Davo says, "I'm green with envy". JOM replies, "Brilliant come on in and have a drink." A few minutes later the next guest arrives and, he opens the door to see Bowbird covered in a pink body stocking with a feather boa wrapped round her most intimate parts. He says to Bowbird "Wow, great outfit, what emotion have you come as?" Bowbird replies, "I'm tickled pink". The host says, "I love it, come on in and join the party." A couple of minutes later the doorbell goes for the third time, and once again JOM opens the door to see two fighters , Ronster and Inkslinger, stark naked. One with his willy stuck in a bowl of custard, and the other with his willy stuck in a pear. JOM is really shocked and says, "What the hell are you doing? You could get arrested for standing like that out there in the street. What emotion is this supposed to be? Ronster replies, "Well, I'm fucking discustard, and Inkslinger here has just come in dispair."!!!!!

[quote name='Michele' date='09 September 2009 - 10:22 AM' timestamp='1252506121' post='18856']

Good show dude, considering that JOM has recently posted how he may be losing his house due to having his hours reduced at work.





As ususal, you show such class Ronald.

[/quote]





I didn't know anything about him losing his house. But hey, nice finding a way to find fault with something.



Just a side note, my wife and I almost lost our house as well, luckily we did somethings that were able to keep us in our house and get a lower interest rate. JOM, if you would like to know what we did, PM me and I will give you some ideas.

[quote name='Ronster' date='09 September 2009 - 10:47 AM' timestamp='1252507649' post='18863']

I didn't know anything about him losing his house. But hey, nice finding a way to find fault with something.



Just a side note, my wife and I almost lost our house as well, luckily we did somethings that were able to keep us in our house and get a lower interest rate. JOM, if you would like to know what we did, PM me and I will give you some ideas.

[/quote]

after your tasteless jokes about him, i wouldnt hold my breath.