Twas the night before christmas and all through the forum
world events were debated with calm and decorum
Invayne in her kerchief and Conservative in his cap
had just settled down for a 'tickle and slap'
The flag was unfurled on the lawns of the nation
In hopes that Saint Nicholas would be stopped at immigration.

The 'Righties' were nestled all snug in their beds.
while visions of Anne Coulter in cut-offs eating corn-on-the-cob danced in their heads.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter
An intruder had entered and triggered the klaxonos
A sleigh shaped like titties, perhaps Janet Jackson's
And what to their wondering eyes should appear
But a ratty old driver, shotgunning a beer
He flashed his tatoos and he flipped them the finger
They knew in a moment, it must be Inkslinger
And pulling the sleigh, eyes as vacant as zombies
were 8 flamming liberals, libertarians and commies

Now Hippies, now students, now fat welfare bums
On Liberlas, on foreigners, El Salvidorian nuns

And then in a twinkling, I heard on the roofs
the prancing and pawing of those homo goofs
They didn't have passports and none looked the same
They shot down the chimney, out the closet they came
They took all the guns and called the ACLU
They smelled of stale doobies, I think one was a Jew
They took all the presents and our Christmas dinner
Then gave all to illegals, single moms, blacks and sinners.
They tore down the flags and then burned them with ferver
They turned up the music and screamed 'meat is murder'

Then as fast as they came they hopped back in their carriage.
Stopping just quickly to consumate gay marriage.
And all rode away to the tune of Bill's saxes
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all higher taxes"




Do I have the week off? Yes I do. Why do you ask?