Thread: New Religion!

Folks,

This is more than just a new religion, because it means we become the gods!

Oh yes, read on!!

It's called, The High Order of Cookie Gods and yes, we aren't the worshipers, we are the worshiped. We are the gods.

First, we bake a bunch of cookies.

Since we created them with our hands, from scratch or pillsbury, don't matter, we put them in the oven and MADE them. Then once they are done, we can place them before us and tell them to worship us.

If some crack or crumble, well, since we own them, since they are Ours, the Cookie Gods, we can throw them away to the Trash Can Hell of Eternal Decomposing Rot, or eat them and have them inside of Us, growing Us, making Us feel full.

Cookie Heaven could be a very fancy cookie jar, or we can make Cookie Heaven very pleasant for the Cookies in spacious cabinets. I mean, we made them, we should love them and care for them.

Cookies that go bad, go to Trash Can Hell of Eternal Decomposing Rot, and so we will remind them of this often. We can make a huge gingerbread cookie house and write out commandments on them for the cookies.

1. Thou shall not crumble cookies next to you.
2. Thou shall not covet thy neighbor's chocalate chips or any other ingrediants.
3. Thous shall keep the baking time, and keep it holy.

See how much fun it is? We can make them in our shape... or any shape. And so they will have dominion over something, I mean, wow, they are our cookies you know, and we love them... we will make for them to lord over... Animal Crackers!!!!!

Yes, and have an entire kitchen full! And all us Cookie Gods know that kitchens are far in between, and one day the Cookies may wonder if there are other kitchens out there in the universe.. and may develop flight... you know... tossing the cookies, haha, but the dangers are high and demons, (birds and cats and dogs) may eat them up!!

And then when we have our civilizations of cookies, and doing are best to make them all happy because we love them, working hard to provide, using our massive powers of building and destruction to keep the bad cookies from the good cookies and not always getting what us Cookie Gods want...

then....

THEN....

We will know exactly what it feels like.

Yummy! Me like cookies!

Today, I practiced my religion with two different kinds of cookies: Oreo and Chocolate Chip. Delicious. My daughter also prayed to those two cookies. Does this mean she's not a good little Christian anymore? She's gone to the sweet side of religion!

How....strange. But so funny I believe I heard another analogy about kissing a guy's ass to get a million dollars.

Today, there was an earthquake among my cookie followers. My daughter had hit the cookie tray they were living on and it bounced. Quite a few cookies suffered untimely demise. My daughter ate the broken ones and I baked fresh ones to replace them.

I explained to my cookies... "Your God giveth, and your God taketh away." And then I put the fresh baked cookies among them.

I had two cookies go bad, so I gave them to the demon.. the dog outside... and they were gobbled for all eternity.

My daughter made sure the lion animal crackers went extinct around lunch, so I gotta fix it... aarrghh!!

I also baked some cookies, some were vanilla flavoured and some were chocolate, and the vanilla ones construed something I said as justification to enslave the chocolate ones.

Originally Posted by Ausinus

I also baked some cookies, some were vanilla flavoured and some were chocolate, and the vanilla ones construed something I said as justification to enslave the chocolate ones.

Goodness me, you certainly are a chaotic God. I bet my cookies will survive a flooding more than yours.

Originally Posted by Oberdan

Goodness me, you certainly are a chaotic God. I bet my cookies will survive a flooding more than yours.

I bet they wont :P Lol.

Im upset now, my cookies are starting to doubt my existance and making up theories about how they evolved from seperate ingredients.

an important lesson to learn, cookies can't survive any longer than 3 days if they aren't submersed in milk

Originally Posted by mia89

an important lesson to learn, cookies can't survive any longer than 3 days if they aren't submersed in milk

There's nothing that strikes fear into the hearts of cookies than a flood of milk.

oh yes fear will strike the very core of a cookie, its soft yet delicious chocolate heart