Anyone never had their Heart Broken?

**kmiller1610** · 7th February 2010 09:58 AM

A person I really admire got his heart broken about 5 years ago.

His reaction was so severe and it took him so long to recover I began to wonder if he shouldn't have done it when he was younger. He had his in his early 20s. Mine happened when I was 30. We share the same background: educated by Evangelicals, dated late, married a virgin, etc....

So enough about my background. I am now fairly sure that getting your heart broken early is a good idea and wonder if there are exceptions.

Can you grow up healthy, wise and normal without getting your heart broke at some point?

Anyone here who never got their heart broke?

I recommend getting your heart trampled on to anyone....

**Inkslinger** · 7th February 2010 10:18 AM

I was 16.

Her parents moved her to Florida.

She wrote every other day.

I never replied.

The next 50 women were body count.

I got over it at 19.

At that time, I would have rather lost a limb.

**Babylon** · 7th February 2010 10:18 AM

Never..

**Inkslinger** · 7th February 2010 10:22 AM

[quote name='Babylon' date='07 February 2010 - 12:18 PM' timestamp='1265563125' post='112346']

Never..

[/quote]

You heartless conservatives are lucky!

(u know I'm just ribbin' ya)

**Babylon** · 7th February 2010 10:31 AM

[quote name='Inkslinger' date='07 February 2010 - 12:22 PM' timestamp='1265563353' post='112349']

You heartless conservatives are lucky!

(u know I'm just ribbin' ya)

[/quote]

Wouldn't expect anything less from you Sir..

I am not proud by my statement, and I am rather confused by it myself. It's not that I've never let anybody inside, it's just that those I did never left me, I left them. I guess you could describe me as a person who is Perfectly Lonely..

I am very happily married now though. If she ever left me, I would have to change my answer..

**kmiller1610** · 7th February 2010 11:06 AM

[quote name='Babylon' date='07 February 2010 - 12:31 PM' timestamp='1265563915' post='112353']

I am not proud by my statement, and I am rather confused by it myself. It's not that I've never let anybody inside, it's just that those I did never left me, I left them.[/quote]

I'm guessing it requires an unusual amount of self awareness to avoid it or maybe not. That's why it's an interesting question. I wish I'd started dating at 14, had my heart broken at 16 and waited to get married until I was 25....

**AibyoukaKyu** · 7th February 2010 04:50 PM

I don't think there is any good age to have your heart broken. Whether someone is 14 or 64, its going to be in their memories forever. Some people may argue that its possible to get over it quicker since your mind and memories rapidly change during your teen-into-young adulthood years, but it actually depends on the individual. I know plenty of people who turned out for the worse -because- they had their heart broken at such a young age, and they either became bitter lonely people who "put up walls" to prevent themselves from ever getting close to someone again, or they decide that the one-night-stands can offer them all the pleasure of a relationship without any of the commitment or possibility of being heartbroken again.

I've always been an emotional person and I grew up as some half-assed "Christian" Neo-con. I was shy and isolated myself during school all the way up until 10th grade in high school. I was easily effected by harsh words and had gone through multiple friendships that ended in disaster, which kept me from being sociable.

There was one person however, my ex-girlfriend Amber, who I had met in 5th grade and been friends with her until one day she declared that I was her boyfriend. We were in the same grade and both went to the same high school once we got out of elementary. She helped me open up more and learn how to find trustworthy friends. I had grew to love her more than anyone else in the world. Then, just last year, she found out that the people she called her parents were actually her aunt and uncle, and that her real parents in Pennsylvania had finally mustered up the courage to meet her. I won't go into too much detail but it was an adoption type of situation and it should be noted that her uncle was an abusive alcoholic. She had the chance to connect with her real parents, as well as a childhood friend she had known before she met me. The cost was leaving me here in NJ while she visited her real parents.

I don't expect anyone to believe anything from here on out, but, when her parents decided they wanted her to move in and live with them, and she re-united with her childhood friend Benjamin, she asked me what she should do. My family and my own plans are to move down to South Carolina, and I couldn't move with her to Pennsylvania. After talking with Benjamin and finding out what kind of guy he was, I knew that he would take care of Amber if we separated our ways. So, I told Amber that she should connect with her real parents and that if she fell in love with Benjamin that I would understand. We had helped each other grow in ways that wouldnt've been possible on our own, and we both felt that God had more plans in mind for us.

Even though it was hard at first, the pain didn't last long because I knew that we didn't break apart due to a fight or anything of the sort, that she would be happy with her real parents and that we could still be friends.

So I consider myself lucky and blessed to have not experienced a "normal break-up" or being truly heartbroken. I don't know how to describe it other than a feeling of loss, which quickly went away and was replaced by both relief and a feeling of peace.

**kmiller1610** · 7th February 2010 05:28 PM

Yeah... that was pretty mild for a breakup..

My wife of 9 years told me she married me for the children and was not really interested in being a wife. I would tell more, but it went downhill from there.

**Chief** · 7th February 2010 06:40 PM

Yep, one broken heart when I was 33. I never saw it coming. My wife at the time had a personal catastrophe in her life when a very close grandmother died, which started a downward spiral for her. She decided she didn't like where her life was going, completely rebooted it, divorced me, dumped all her friends and moved to another state to start over.

She didn't communicate with me about what was in her head. So, I spent the next year trying to fix things up by myself with no help or support. That sucked. Finally, I let it go and fixed my life and here I am today, remarried in my own home, with a better job and new certifications. I hope she's done as well. But I'll never know, which still sorta hurts.

I don't think anything of value is derived from getting one's heart broken and don't recommend it at any time for anyone.

**Dr.Knuckles** · 7th February 2010 09:03 PM

I had the initial life lesson at 16, and then earned a full degree in heart break in Korea at 26-28 where I fell hard for a co-worker who jerked me around like a puppet... but it was a coworker, meaning we worked together every single day for 2 full years and from 3 weeks after I met her till the day I left the country I was just broken from it. I wasn't even myself. I cringe and wrinkle up my face when I think back to it.

That said... I could not imagine how much more horrible that would be coming from a spouse. That's the major leagues of heartbreak. I can't even imagine that. I'm at 5 years with the Mrs. and I feel I do about 85% of the compromising... but it's what makes it work and it works. If SHE broke my heart ... that would be incomparable to anything that came before.

And having to deal with that without ever having dealt with it from a highschool sweetheart or a college fuck... yeah... that would be a knockout punch.