Thread: This weekend sucked.

Just thought I would rant on here, as I have chewed alot of good friends ears off, so I guess I'll do it here too. Luckily, I have some people that I don't take for granted like I used to when I was younger and more stupid.

My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me this weekend. This was "the one", or so I thought. Since the time we started going out, we were crazy about each other. Both artists, and she would make me things to express herself about me. It was deep. She's a great person, and I have been in shock, to say the least. But, she doesn't communicate very well, which is why it was such a shock.

She constantly expressed how I was the one she wanted to spend a lifetime with, and I thought likewise about her. Even up until about a week ago, I was under this impression.. Wrong. She said that she wasn't getting what she needed as far as affection, and I had been working on that, getting better, slowly but surely. She always seems to look at the down side of things too, and thought it would get worse, when it was getting better. She had even acknowledged that it was getting better. I have trouble showing affection, always have, and she needs alot. Nothing wrong with that, it's just how it is. People are who they are.

She has alot of issues that she has been dealing with, like alcohol/addiction recovery, things that come with that territory. She has been recovering for 2 years. She started when we were only two months into the relationship, so I wonder if it was a good idea to keep going forward in the relationship.

Goldwater, I think you have mentioned you work with recovering addicts/alcoholics. What is your take on that, if you don't mind and if you read this thread.

But, I can't get caught up in the "well, what if I had done this differently", etc. Because there are certain things that I have been mulling over, like how I isolated (like I do sometimes) and things like that.

This is getting winded, so I'll leave it here.

Aw. I'm sorry - I know how hard ending a long term relationship can be.

Originally Posted by Ausinus

Aw. I'm sorry - I know how hard ending a long term relationship can be.

Thanks, Ausinus. It's pretty rough, yes. But I grew alot in the relationship, so that's a good thing.

Originally Posted by Bluegrass

Thanks, Ausinus. It's pretty rough, yes. But I grew alot in the relationship, so that's a good thing.

Look on the bright side, it was better than my last long-term relationship (I dumped him because he abused me, then he tried to off himself to make me feel bad about it),

If you have difficulty communicating then I don't think she was right for you - my take on it is that the success of your relationship is measured in terms of communication.

Originally Posted by Ausinus

Look on the bright side, it was better than my last long-term relationship (I dumped him because he abused me, then he tried to off himself to make me feel bad about it),

If you have difficulty communicating then I don't think she was right for you - my take on it is that the success of your relationship is measured in terms of communication.

I'm glad you got out of that relationship. I have also seen quite a few people either try to kill themselves, or threaten to in that situation. That does go hand in hand with the abuse.

As for the communication, neither one of us was good at it, but she would bottle things up for months at a time, like why she broke up. It's definitely the key to making a relationship last.

Originally Posted by Bluegrass

I'm glad you got out of that relationship. I have also seen quite a few people either try to kill themselves, or threaten to in that situation. That does go hand in hand with the abuse.

As for the communication, neither one of us was good at it, but she would bottle things up for months at a time, like why she broke up. It's definitely the key to making a relationship last.

If you're with the right person I find that you don't really have to be good at communication. And the evidence I have to support it comes straight out of my ass - its just an opinion

Originally Posted by Ausinus

If you're with the right person I find that you don't really have to be good at communication. And the evidence I have to support it comes straight out of my ass - its just an opinion

That makes sense.. sort of an unspeakable connection? Do you have a source for that?

It seems like you don't really have to "find" the right one for you. You just come across them, while doing the things you like to do.

Originally Posted by Bluegrass

That makes sense.. sort of an unspeakable connection? Do you have a source for that?

Well yeah, you know like telling if someone is upset even if they don't visibly display it. My source; your mother.

Originally Posted by Ausinus

Well yeah, you know like telling if someone is upset even if they don't visibly display it. My source; your mother.

Yeah, I couldn't do that with her. We had a special connection, no doubt, but I had no clue about what she was torn about for these last two months.

My mother would actually be a good source... too bad I didn't take her advice so many times.

Bluegrass, this is tough and I'm guessing your in more shock than you're letting on. I would be anyway.

Regarding recovery, 2 years isn't much time in that process. Most of that time is spent just hanging on at that point. She's has issues she's not dealing with, that takes a lot of time. I have a little insight into that.

Not sure what else you can do except keep doing what you're doing, talking about it. It helps time to pass I guess. Good luck.