Thread: WTF ... can anyone work this out?

Leo,
Yoo asked for our advice here and you are getting it. The fact that you asked was a mature thing to do, your reaction to it was not. Leo, intelligence, maturity and wisdom are three very different things. Intelligence you seem to me to be very intelligent for your age. Sometimes maybe more than I. Wisodm and maturity you do not get out of a book. You get that with age and experience. You have recieved some very wise advice here Leo and it sounds as though you may take it. I hope you do. The reason so many of us can offer you such good advice is because your situation is not unique. Many of has have already been through that immature I know more than everyonese stage of our lives. Some have even raised their own kids that went through that stage. Look at some members here, Kyryahn, sounds like a successful lawyer, dubs, had a successful career in law enforcement and others that I am not sure what they do. But, do you think they got their without making mistakes? I am sure they did not. They knew it all at some point in their lives to. You have this community here that can spare you some of them mistakes by learning from the mistakes that we did. Maturity is taking that advice even when it is not what you want. Do you really think that your aunt is having a power struggle with you? No, she knows what is best for you in this situation. She is only acting on your best interests and for you to turn it into a power struggle with her is a sign of immaturity, once again, not that it is unique to you, but you have an opportunity to show your maturity by listening to her and to others. I also believe that she may have more power than you think, a simple call to your school about this situation may very well result in something that you would dislike even more. Don't mess with a bull unless you are prepared for the horns. You get so offended when people refer to you as immature. You should not. I believe all 16 year olds are immature. Some more mature than others, but still immature. It doesn't mean that I think any less of them, I expect that out of teenagers. You are a good kid Leo, don't listen to people that re-inforce that this is your decision, take the advice that coming to a compromise and discussing your feelings with your aunt and the actions of both you and her will help to resolve this in a much more satisfactory way, you may even learn to appreciate the actions of your aunt a lttle more and you may even show to her that you are more mature than she gives you credit for.

Originally Posted by blackbetty

Hate to tell you how often it's those who think it can't possibly happen to them...happens to them.

The guy's behaviour is abnormal...period.

Men much bigger and stronger than you have been the victim of violent crimes. So that argument is baseless.

You know...sometimes when you're a minor, you just don't get to do what you want to do. That's life. Happens when you're an adult, too. Suck it up and deal with it.

The wiser adults in your life who love you, know what they are talking about. Just stop hanging out with this guy. He's bad news.

I don't have kids and I'm just a bit older than you but I have to agree with Betty and all the others on this one. Something is just not right with this guy. I have had many times when I looked up to older guys I hung out with because they were fun and yes, they all tried getting in my pants (ewww). Just because you're a dude doesn't make it any better. There should be no reason why he wants to hang out with a 16 year old and I really get a weird vibe from this guy just from your description. I know you're one smart cookie and a blast to talk to but it just doesn't seem right. Sorry if this isn't what you want to hear but I'm being 150% honest.

Originally Posted by Kyryahn

Leo is 32 in fact, he wants people to think he's 16 to get a lot of compliments on his maturity. No one will make me believe this guy is really a teenager.

???? :jawdrop: I guess I should take this as a compliment but you are calling me a liar at the same time :flickoff:.

But guess what, I don't really care, if you are jealous coz people think I'm mature, that's your prob. :waving:

To everyone else here who is giving me good advice, I'm sorry if I seem to be reacting badly. I didn't mean to do that, I'm just trying to put my point of view across.

Your advice has totally changed how I'm approaching this prob, so I'm not ignoring it.

And I was never sneaking around behind my aunt, I was upfront about my friendship with this guy from the first time my cuz mentioned it.

I only got a bit mad at the way my aunt just told me I couldn't see this guy, with like no discussion. My mum agreed with my aunt but she talked to me on the phone about it and said some of the things you guys did, and I was OK with that. I just didn't like how bossy my aunt is being.

Anyway, my mum agrees that he should meet my aunt and get her permission, and my aunt seems happy enough with that. I won't be seeing him this weekend coz I have to visit my sick friend, but I will ring Robert and tell him about it. Like if he doesn't want to, then you guys are right, and I've been stupid.

No, not stupid, just young and naive.

I just didn't like how bossy my aunt is being.

Your aunt was entrusted to look after you by your mother. I can understand why she would hold a much heavier hand than normal. She has a greater responsibility to help keep you safe and out of trouble. It seems all you've done is defy her and chastise her for her guidance; not just within this thread but in others as well. You balk "She's not my mother!"...no she's not but she is your aunt and she cares enough about you to discipline you and give you advice. If she didn't care about you she'd not have 2 words to say to you about anything. Just because you're miles away from home does not mean you can run willy nilly doing things you'd never do at home because you know they would get you in trouble...If you respected your aunt, you would listen to her advice...that's the mature thing to do.

Originally Posted by Kyryahn

Leo is 32 in fact, he wants people to think he's 16 to get a lot of compliments on his maturity. No one will make me believe this guy is really a teenager.

You're just kidding, right? Just asking....

Originally Posted by Leo

???? :jawdrop: I guess I should take this as a compliment but you are calling me a liar at the same time :flickoff:.

But guess what, I don't really care, if you are jealous coz people think I'm mature, that's your prob. :waving:

Maturity is not a compliment, its a curse.

But some here have been a little harsher on you than you deserve.
There was an excellent point there from Metheron about the power struggle angle - that was good advice that I am going to take note of myself...

Leo, you drink alcohol with this dude? That would be like doing drugs with your parents (he's old enough to be your father). And where I'm from that's just wrong.

I am 16. If a 40 year old man I met AT THE BUS STATION wanted to befriend me, AND buy me a video game, AND give me alcohol, AND laugh at me when I get buzzed, I would be weirded the fuck out.

And Leo, I wouldn't "try and get Robert alone" if I were you. It has baaaad implications.

Seriously, that's like hanging out with your parent's friends! Also, ask yourself this question: WHY would a 40 year old want to befriend a 16 year old WHO HE MET AT A BUS STATION!?!?!?!? Strangers?!?!??