You get this for chrismas and you start lacing it to one of your boots


You think a klodyk bar is a place to tie one on

If chilling wine requires a string and a device to cut a hole in a frozen pond

If someone says 'jacket' and the only thing you can think of is a hunting rifle

If you question any new car sale if there is no rust on the floorboards

If your ears have never seen the light of day

If the proposition of trying to walk up hill without the benifit of 3 inch spikes seems laughable

If theres no line to get in, but you may have trouble getting out

If someone tells you they are going to 'hit the hay' and you wait in great expectation for them to finish their sentance.....hey....

The only emotion based reaction to the national anthem is to boooo.....Americas national anthem that is, you don't know which one is yours this week

Your national sports heros have less teeth than the maternity ward

Your airlines absolutly refuse to fly without ice on the wings

If your side of the great lakes are just ok

A queen is an outstanding person to pledge your alliegence to but not really but you will anyway