Thread: It's All Very Simple

If you lose your phone, glasses, or diaphram in a place that you patroned, it's your fuckin fault, not the fault of the business who can't find your shit.

If, while delivering pizza, you forget the potato chips you need to go back and get the fuckin chips. It's your job.

If you cut someone off in traffic and, as a result, you get shot the bird, just accept your bird. You did a dick thing, and you should take your bird and fuck off, none of this returning the bird, there's no balance in that. In order for there to be balance after you return the bird the person you returned the bird to needs to cut you off, get it?

The reason there is a speaker before the window is so you can get your money out before you reach the window, stop holding up the line.

And another thing about holding up the line, have your check half made out already, you don't need to find out how much money you owe Dicks Anal Toys in order to know that you are going to have to make the check out to Dicks Anal Toys.

You should never put one of these hsnap: in your post when refering to something you said in that post. You can't oh snap your own post, it's stupid, it's like saying something to someone, and then saying to that someone that what you said was really on point. See how dumb that is? No, you don't, which is why you oh snap your own posts in the first place.

And another thing about holding up the line, DMV doesn't suck, you do. No, really, there is a reason those DMV employees have an attitude, they are sick of dealing with idiots who can't read directions. You should not have to ask questions at a DMV unless youre transferring a trailor tag to a boat.

I don't want to step in your dogs shit, responsibility is part of dog ownership, one word: plasticbagfromthegrocerystore.

If youre driving, and ahead you see a red light, while on your right you see a person waiting to enter traffic in your direction of travel, just let them go.

And another driving thing, use your blinker, it aint hard at all. Not even a little bit, just use your goddamn blinker. You know, your blinker, before you turn preferably.

If you smoke, chances are you have to step outside a place of business to smoke. Now I'm going to ask nicely because as a rule, smokers are the biggest assholes to grace this planet, please, step away from the fuckin door. If you don't, I have to walk my kid through your shit, and I always think about punching you in the face. One day, I might.

I don't believe I've ever read a rant quite like that from a person that is calling others assholes.

Now I'm going to ask nicely because as a rule, smokers are the biggest assholes to grace this planet, please, step away from the fuckin door. If you don't, I have to walk my kid through your shit, and I always think about punching you in the face. One day, I might.

You are contradicting yourself here...unless of course, you are a smoker.

Originally Posted by Sparta

If you lose your phone, glasses, or diaphram in a place that you patroned, it's your fuckin fault, not the fault of the business who can't find your shit.

If, while delivering pizza, you forget the potato chips you need to go back and get the fuckin chips. It's your job.

If you cut someone off in traffic and, as a result, you get shot the bird, just accept your bird. You did a dick thing, and you should take your bird and fuck off, none of this returning the bird, there's no balance in that. In order for there to be balance after you return the bird the person you returned the bird to needs to cut you off, get it?

The reason there is a speaker before the window is so you can get your money out before you reach the window, stop holding up the line.

And another thing about holding up the line, have your check half made out already, you don't need to find out how much money you owe Dicks Anal Toys in order to know that you are going to have to make the check out to Dicks Anal Toys.

You should never put one of these hsnap: in your post when refering to something you said in that post. You can't oh snap your own post, it's stupid, it's like saying something to someone, and then saying to that someone that what you said was really on point. See how dumb that is? No, you don't, which is why you oh snap your own posts in the first place.

And another thing about holding up the line, DMV doesn't suck, you do. No, really, there is a reason those DMV employees have an attitude, they are sick of dealing with idiots who can't read directions. You should not have to ask questions at a DMV unless youre transferring a trailor tag to a boat.

I don't want to step in your dogs shit, responsibility is part of dog ownership, one word: plasticbagfromthegrocerystore.

If youre driving, and ahead you see a red light, while on your right you see a person waiting to enter traffic in your direction of travel, just let them go.

And another driving thing, use your blinker, it aint hard at all. Not even a little bit, just use your goddamn blinker. You know, your blinker, before you turn preferably.

If you smoke, chances are you have to step outside a place of business to smoke. Now I'm going to ask nicely because as a rule, smokers are the biggest assholes to grace this planet, please, step away from the fuckin door. If you don't, I have to walk my kid through your shit, and I always think about punching you in the face. One day, I might.

If you MUST talk on your cellular phone, take it outside the restaurant. No one wants to hear what your GYN said about your genital herpes.

If you are going to ask the waiter/waitress for something special (as in not on the menu) then you need to TIP them appropriately.

And another thing, quit trying to beat the yellow light from a block and a half away. You're not going to make it.

The reason the express lane has a sign that says fifteen items or less is because it's for people with LESS than fifteen items. If you can't count to fifteen then maybe YOU shouldn't be shopping.

Oh, and btw, the lanes that say cash or atm only are NOT for you bozos who want to write checks.

The rule of thumb is one car length for every ten miles an hour, so back off, you aren't that good a driver.

The waitress/waiter/cashier are not your personal slaves. Feel free to say please and thank-you to them.

Slow traffic needs to get over to the RIGHT. If you're moving slower than the cars behind you, then you are in the wrong lane.

To all you parents: You may love your kids, even when they're raising hell and screeching, but the rest of us don't. Do us all a favor, take your kids home until they can behave.

And last but not least, to all of you who like to park taking up two or more parking spaces: Learn to park INSIDE the pretty lines. I know you think that God made you special, but the fact that you rode the short bus as a kid doesn't mean much now.

Originally Posted by Migi e!

I don't believe I've ever read a rant quite like that from a person that is calling others assholes.

Don't get mad at me just because you oh snap your own posts.hsnap:

Originally Posted by johnlocke

If you MUST talk on your cellular phone, take it outside the restaurant. No one wants to hear what your GYN said about your genital herpes.

If you are going to ask the waiter/waitress for something special (as in not on the menu) then you need to TIP them appropriately.

And another thing, quit trying to beat the yellow light from a block and a half away. You're not going to make it.

The reason the express lane has a sign that says fifteen items or less is because it's for people with LESS than fifteen items. If you can't count to fifteen then maybe YOU shouldn't be shopping.

Oh, and btw, the lanes that say cash or atm only are NOT for you bozos who want to write checks.

The rule of thumb is one car length for every ten miles an hour, so back off, you aren't that good a driver.

The waitress/waiter/cashier are not your personal slaves. Feel free to say please and thank-you to them.

Slow traffic needs to get over to the RIGHT. If you're moving slower than the cars behind you, then you are in the wrong lane.

To all you parents: You may love your kids, even when they're raising hell and screeching, but the rest of us don't. Do us all a favor, take your kids home until they can behave.

And last but not least, to all of you who like to park taking up two or more parking spaces: Learn to park INSIDE the pretty lines. I know you think that God made you special, but the fact that you rode the short bus as a kid doesn't mean much now.

That's the spirit.

Originally Posted by One

You are contradicting yourself here...unless of course, you are a smoker.

If I am a smoker, you can bet your sweet ass I puff away from the door.

WTF, share some of that herb, Sparta!!!

Originally Posted by ilikeGW

WTF, share some of that herb, Sparta!!!

Right, which reminds me. That bit about letting a person enter traffic as you approach a stop signal, if you live in certain European countries you would have to flip the directions.

This is why I don't drive, too many damn rules.