My fellow Americans,

I am just a simple patriot who must warn you of the greatest danger to our liberty yet. Yes I am talking about the One World Government (OWG) [acronyms are neat and sound so smart]. They are really our Very Own United States Government (VOUSG). They have contracted a lie so venemous, so dangerous that only through the sacrifice of many lives can the truth now be told. But beware, the following absolutely true facts are shocking to behold. But's it's really pretty obvious once you think about it. These are absolutely, positively true facts (honest) not like the lying media.

There are no foreign countries. The US gov. is the only government. It has manipulated the media, history and the truth to convince us there are "foreign countries" which it must protect us from. There is no China, no Russia, no Germany, No Japan (But there are Japanese, which only proves how sneaky they are).

Anyone claiming to be a "foreigner" is really a spy trained to keep an eye on you.

Anyone who claims to have visited a "foreign country" is part of it.

People are fooled by getting on an airplane and being flown to area 51 where there is a fake city sometimes called "Paris". You can ride a train in circles while they change all the signs and it becomes "Rome" or "London". In a pinch it can be "Tokyo" or "Cleveland". This does not in any way contradict the statement above.

The Government uses fear of foreigners to justify having a large military. This is needed because this all powerful government which controls everything plans to take over the country one day.

The Government began when whites killed off the Indians and enslaved the blacks. Asians are a lost tribe who are in on it in order to monopolize corner grocery stores in return for spying on you.

The only real foreigners are Mexicans and Canadians, who live along the border in a lawless state. Mexicans are trying to sneak in all the time because they want a strong government, which we can't let them have and must stop them, while still destroying our evil government. Canadians keep their mouths shut because we let them act like Americans and any damn frostback caught sneaking across the border knows what they're going to get.

The only allies of this sneaky goverment are a secret camarilla composed of the aliens from Area 51, the Loch Ness Monster, The Spotted Owl, David Hasselhoff, and the Jews.

Kennedy was shot because he was going to tell
The Pope was shot because he realized the Vatican was in Iowa
Reagan was shot because no one knew he really believed the lie
George Wallace was shot because he was an asshole

Jesse Ventura found out but was able to make a deal. No one knows what it was, but it's rumored to have involved 3 million Dollars, a video camera, two jars of vaseline and one extremely exhausted salamander.

Citizens! Amass weaponry in order to defend your right to have guns. Fight the United States Government and its symbols in the name of patriotism and the flag!
Be careful! The government is watching you through Bill Gates e-mail tracking system and will give one thousand dollars to anyone who turns you in.

If you believe this conspiracy you will have good luck!

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